Find Me

Tonight, I really feel down and tired from all the failures. Right now, depression finally found its way through me after working as hard as I can to suppress these unwanted emotions several months now. Honestly, I can't specifically tell what things contributed to this sudden onset of depression. All I know is that somewhere inside me, a voice is telling me, repeatedly, how much of a failure I was and am. Haze of things keep me partially blind to see past these feelings.

Somehow, I feel I've lost much of my former self. I was not a failure. But I am.

I miss having friends to lean on to whenever times like these arise. I'm not even sure now if I still have friends. Someone told me I have no friends. Maybe, he/she is right. 'Cause right now, I wouldn't feel alone if I have any. If a friend is too much to ask for, maybe a stranger will do, so long as he'll lend me an ear and hear me out without judging me.

True enough, familiarity breeds contempt. You see, more than friends, I miss people who'd listen to all my worries no matter how stupid and irrational they may be. People who won't judge me because they knew me too well. Sometimes, I don't need someone to tell me what's the right thing to do or what I've done wrong. Believe me, I know. There are just those times I want someone who'll comfort me. Someone who'll tell me I didn't do anything wrong. Someone who'll uplift me no matter how wrong he/she thinks I am. Someone who'll save me the scoldings for later when I am more rational. In times like these, I don't need opinions. I don't need lectures. I need to be heard. I need comfort. I need shelter.

Where have you gone to? Find me. Please.